Reclaiming Inner Safety: The Journey to Experiencing Safety in Your Body
Early in my trauma resolution journey, I encountered a pivotal moment when my coach asked me what would be helpful to hear from my partner during waves of fear. I instinctively felt that hearing him say, “You’re safe,” could be comforting. So, the next time I experienced anxiety, I approached him and requested those reassuring words.
But instead of comfort, I felt worse. Not only did his words fail to bring the safety I craved, but I also felt a wave of shame for not being able to embrace that reassurance. It was a complete backfire!
The Science of Safety
This experience highlights a crucial truth: 80% of the communication that shapes our experiences travels from the body to the brain. This means the state of our nervous systems significantly impacts our perception of reality. If we don’t already have the embodied resources to feel and experience safety within ourselves, verbal affirmations may fall flat.
We cannot simply rely on words to convince us that we're safe; instead, we must first cultivate a felt sense of safety inside ourselves to truly believe it.
Discovering the Felt Sense of Safety
Everything transformed when I began working with practitioners who specialized in understanding the nervous system. Through this journey, I relearned how to tap into my body's innate sense of safety. As I developed this skill, I found that I no longer required external reassurances—my body began conveying that safety to my brain by itself. Talk about empowerment!
For those of us raised by caregivers who carried their own unresolved trauma, learning to access this felt sense of safety can be a game changer. It serves as a catalyst for profound, embodied healing. Unfortunately, this superpower is often neither modeled nor passed down to us, which is why many of us need to reacquire it in adulthood.
The Balance of Healing Work
Shadow work is undeniably important in the healing process; however, the urgent urge to dive into our subconscious can often be a trauma response. Just as we wouldn’t dive into the ocean without first mastering how to float, we shouldn't plunge into our challenging inner material without cultivating the ability to hold ourselves.
What’s frequently overlooked in discussions about “doing the work” is the necessity of relearning how to embody the superpower of feeling safe in our bodies. This should be where our journey begins.
Attuning to Our Inner Experience
Accessing this sense of safety does not mean bypassing our current emotional states—it’s crucial for better attuning to those anxious, fearful, and shadowy parts of ourselves, much like a loving, grounded inner parent would do.
While I may have more questions than answers about life, my embodied wisdom teaches me that the energetic vortex accommodating the frequency of our unburdened selves holds our truest essence. Many individuals with complex trauma embark on their healing journeys to discover who they truly are. Familiarizing ourselves with this embodied experience of safety paves the path toward that discovery.
The Power of Inner Safety
The power found within us when we access inner safety far exceeds any affirmation we could receive. Although it may require some skill-building to reconnect with this sacred place within, once we familiarize ourselves with it, there’s no going back.
Much love and gratitude always.
Resensualization: A Practice for Finding Safety Within
Begin with Your Senses: Choose one of your senses—touch, sight, or sound—and engage with something neutral or pleasant in your environment.
Drop Expectations: Allow the experience to come to you without any pressure, attachment, or expectations for an outcome.
Observe Bodily Responses: As you take in the sensory experience, pay attention to any bodily sensations—muscles relaxing, urges to yawn or swallow, or spontaneous deep breaths can signal your system returning to a state of safety.
Explore the Sensation: Can you identify where in your body you feel this experience? It may manifest as pleasant sensations, lightness, or a profound knowing that all is well in this moment.
Stay Present: Remain with this experience for as long as comfortable, whether that’s seconds or minutes. You may ask if the sensation wants to expand and observe how your body responds.
Express Gratitude: Thank your body for revealing this powerful experience and repeat this practice often.
